Month of Gratitude

I'm late on this. But that's okay - better late than never, right?(;

I've loved seeing people post daily (during the month of November) what they're grateful for & I decided that would be a really good thing for me, too! I honestly want to see if I can come up with enough things to talk about that I'm grateful for. I'm pretty dang blessed & I don't recognize it like I should, so I think this is a way cool opportunity to remind myself to look a little bit past myself!!

So let's go at it!

Day 1 (I guess 7 considering it's November 7th!): 

CHRISTMAS MUSIC.

Say whaaaat? Yes, the first thing I'm thankful for in November is CHRISTMAS MUSIC!! Usually I try really hard to avoid listening to it until around Thanksgiving, because once I start listening to it - I can't stop! This year that's gone out the window because I've already started with the music, movies AND decoration. I'm slightly ashamed. Christmas music really just makes me SO happy!! And today I had to clean the bathroom so that was my only motivation, haha! I absolutely LOVE the Thanksgiving/Christmas season. It's really such a beautiful time of gratitude, love, family & the Spirit. YAY!

-Savannah

Infinitely More

Something that's been interesting about posting on here is how many people read it that I actually know. I'm cool with sharing things with strangers, but when it comes to people I know? It's awkward. Then again, it's probably good - I say so much more on here than I would in person, which I think would be true about anyone whose thoughts you were reading rather than hearing... if that makes any sense.

The more people learn about the fact that I have a 'muscle disorder', the more they genuinely treat me differently. I wish I could show this quote by Jeffrey R. Holland to all of them - "We are infinitely more than our limitations and our afflictions." I am literally the exact same person I was a month ago. I like to think I grew a little more as a person (not heightwise, I totally wish though), but besides that, nothing's changed. Believe it or not, I've known my entire life that I have this muscle disorder. I didn't know so much what it meant, & I didn't have to deal with it as much, but it's always been a part of me. The fact that you now know about it doesn't change anything about me. And here's the thing about the changes I've had to make & how I feel day to day - it's not a big deal. It might sound like a big deal, but honestly, for me it is truly just living. It just feels like life & I'm living it! Kay?(;

Okay. That's really only one of the purposes of me writing this post, but I wanted to throw that out there!

The second & actual point of this is that we are all so much more than any aspect of our lives. You're so much more than the number of friends you have, your grades, what clubs you're in & whether or not you were asked to Prom. Your potential is limitless. Today doesn't define the rest of your life. Choose to treat today like the small part of eternity it is & you'll recognize how little the 'big' things really are. Don't let the dumb things define you.

It's funny reading through people's Twitter accounts & seeing how unhappy so many of them are. I get that it's just a snapshot of their lives, but holy cow - it feels like 98% complaining. And I get it. LIFE IS HARD. HIGH SCHOOL IS HARD. I'll be the first to say it. But it's such a small part of everything. Four years - basically three where I live - of your life that won't matter ten years from now. Things that seem so dramatic, & frustrating, & all important in the moment. You're more than those moments. Your life is more than the hard things today, next week & next year. Keep your perspective. I promise it makes all the difference.

-Savannah

God's Plan

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that God is right. Always. His plan is the very best because He can see it all - especially compared to our short-term views. It's so much easier to focus on what we want right now, & not see the long-term consequences of our decisions.

Basically what I'm rambling about is this - trust in God. Wherever you are in life right now, whether you're at the lowest of lows or life is pretty grand for you, turn yourself over to God. I promise His plan for you is better than anything you can envision or create for yourself, & He'll carry you through every step of it.

I've seen this a lot in my own life lately. Let's be honest, if I had it my way I would have kept going to full days of school, stayed in the school play, & ignored anything I was dealing with. Fortunately God intervened & I realized that what I was doing wasn't what I needed to be doing. So I took a big step & switched over to half days. Best decision EVER. And of course it was - it's what the spirit kept telling me to do. Has it been easy? In some ways, yes. Other ways not so much! I had to drop my theater class & I miss it so much more than I thought I would - I seriously ask my friends every day what they did in theater, haha! That's been frustrating to give up something that I genuinely love doing. Same thing with dropping out of the school play - frustrating.

But - when God closes a door, He opens a window(; In this case the window was a play at our community theater. This show doesn't involve any dancing, & with cutting back on school, I'm finally able to handle something like that. I tried out yesterday & I'm so excited to see how it goes. Whether I make it or not, I'm so grateful to God for directing me in a new path & giving me new opportunities, however small they may be. When we're obedient to His will, we'll find our peace!

God's plan may not be exactly what we want it to be. Maybe it's nothing like what we want it to be! And it doesn't come without its trials & sorrows. But I can promise you this - it's the best way. When you're struggling, turn to Him & ask Him what needs to change. Be patient. Trust in the Lord & His timing. Whether today, next week, or 3 years from now, it will all work out - in one way or another!

-Savannah

I Love Conference

As many of you probably know, the LDS church had general conference this last weekend. General conference lasts Saturday & Sunday, two weekends a year (April & October). Basically it's where members of the Latter-Day Saint church gather together to hear modern revelation from prophets and apostles of God. It's one of my favorite weekends of the entire year! It's always exactly what I need to hear, when I need to hear it. It's how I knew I wanted to get my patriarchal blessing two years ago, & it brought me so much peace last year when I was sick (especially President Uchtdorf's talk, 'Grateful in Any Circumstance'). This conference brought even more faith & answers. Here are a couple of the many amazing quotes from conference & what they meant to me!

This last month of starting school has been so hard on me. I'm a fan of high school for sure, but the walking & the stairs are murder on my legs. It's all caused this 'flare-up' of CMT (if you haven't read my 'Learned More Than Lost' post I highly recommend reading it first, so you're not totally confused(; ) that's lasted for the entire month and is still going strong. Basically it gives me really bad acid reflux by weakening my stomach muscles & causing a certain type of hernia (not the kind that needs surgery, honestly I'm not really sure how this all works!) that pushes up on my ribs & chest. It also weakens my hands and arms, so my fingers clench and my wrists hurt. I get seriously shaky so it feels like I'm on vibrate. Mostly though, it affects my legs. From my feet to my thighs, the pain ranges from electric to achy to 'how do I even walk right now'. I'm tired a lot of the time & in pain almost as often. Overcoming that mentally & getting up and going on with life when everything is screaming at me not to is incredibly hard! I for sure have good days & I have bad days, but it's learning to find a way to carry on & be happy through the rough ones. There were so many talks in conference about trials and being able to overcome them through Christ. This quote means worlds to me! He knows what each and every one of us is going through, and He is there through it all - if we're willing to turn to Him. Sometimes it feels like no one can really understand what having a disorder that affects your nerves is like, because it's not very visible. Unless you're wearing braces or a boot, no one can see what's wrong with you. Knowing that Christ understands & has been through everything we're going through is such a comforting thing!

So, with this CMT thing, I've been missing a ton of school & a lot of play practice. I really can't make it through a full day of school, I'm so tired & ready to be done by 4th hour, which has made me miss my 4th-6th hours wayyy more than I should be. The dancing at play practice was also really hard on me - one 2 hour play practice made me so sore, I missed 2 days of school. So, I've had to make a few decisions. One of those was to quit the play. I'm sad to be giving up something I love so much, but I know it's really the right thing to do. More than anything I feel peaceful about it, & I can't wait to see the finished show!

The other decision I made was to switch over to half days of school. This was a hard one. I dropped my first three hours, one of which was theater. That was a something I debated back and forth on for a long time! I LOVE that class. But. I fasted about it, prayed about it, & thought about it more than anything else, and I know this is what I need to do. I'll be taking all of my core classes online & going to school for the extra classes I can keep in the afternoon, like choir & seminary. I don't feel like this decision was out of my control, & I don't feel at all like I'm giving anything up by making it. I could've forced it & kept doing full days. I didn't want to. And I know that it's God's will that I be home part-time. Like the quote says - "The Lord will guide us to & through our next steps." This is my next step, & one I'm making with The Lord on my side. I'm so grateful to have that spiritual direction in my life - I don't know what I would do without it!! 

Something I haven't been doing as much as I should be is trusting in the Lord! I was reminded of that this last week when I fasted & prayed about switching to half days. One thing I still struggle with & haven't done is read my scriptures!! For seminary we're supposed to be somewhere in Genesis, annnd I'm in Moses 3... Whoops. Conference reminded me that I need to get in shape & pick up my scriptures! 

So, to sum up a beautiful conference with plenty of answers & words I needed to hear, I'll leave you with this quote from Koichi Aoyagi - "Put God first, regardless of the trials you face. Love God. Have faith in Christ, & entrust yourself to Him in all things." I promise your answers are in Christ. How lucky are we that we have modern revelation from God through our prophets & apostles?? Turn to Him, listen to His prophet's words, & you will find the peace you need!

-Savannah

Top Mutual Ideas

Last week my Mia Maid presidency met to plan our class activities for the rest of the year. My ward also has meetings at the beginning of the year to plan most of our activities, but no matter how hard you try some activities end up last minute! I've been going through Pinterest & I've found SO many fun ideas!! Some of them are last minute, some have been tried out by my own ward, & some are classics - but all of them are/look so great! Whether you have a planning meeting coming up or your plans fell through last minute, hopefully you find this list helpful!

#1 - Ice Blocking/Sledding
These are two of the greatest, most basic mutual activities out there. Some of my favorite memories come from sledding & ice blocking with the young men/women in my ward. If you haven't heard of ice blocking (where have you been??) basically you buy a block of ice from whatever grocery store you can find it, put a towel over it, sit on it and slide down a hill! I highly recommend doing this during the summer because the ice will melt faster, which makes it so much more fun - my ward went last week & we had so much fun! Sledding is pretty self explanatory, just throw in some cookies & hot chocolate and you're good to go!

#2 - SERVICE.
Service in any form is a good option! One of my favorites my ward has done was sewing bags for Days for Girls kits. We've also done babysitting nights during Relief Society activities (or during the Christmas season so parents can go Christmas shopping), gone caroling in nursing homes, and made meals and gifts for new families in our ward. We're also right by a temple & once we went and put post-it notes on car windows there, thanking them for their temple attendance. Look around you and find the things that need to be done in your ward! Rake leaves, heart attack your bishop, visit the elderly in your ward (you have no idea how much some of them appreciate this - key note is 'some', haha!). It's a good last minute activity and it's sure to make someone's day!

#3 - Photography
We haven't ever done anything like this but I think it sounds like so much fun! Take a camera or two and let the young women (or young men!) go take pictures. If you have a temple nearby that's definitely a good place to go! If you can, have a serious photographer come and teach them some tips on how to take better pictures. I don't know about you, but I love taking pictures & I would be more than happy to spend an hour doing it! Plus you could definitely apply the activity to Knowledge in Personal Progress.

#4 - Spa Night
Okay, this is definitely not one for the Young Men, but it's a classic all the same! You can definitely go full out and have different stations like painting nails, doing hair & really anything you can come up with, but one of my favorite last minute activities was when we made a brown sugar body scrub (like this one here!) & decorated the jars we put it in, then took a few to the girls who weren't there. It was fun, simple & easy!

#5 - Life Sized Games
These activities definitely take more prep, but they're so worth it & way fun! A couple months ago my ward played Angry Birds (someday I'll write a post about that & link it here) which I was in charge of, and I got a lot of my inspiration from THIS & THIS blog. It was a crazy chaotic activity but it was a lot of fun! We're also playing 'Hungry Hungry Hippos' in a week or two (like on this blog HERE) & I'll have to let you know how that goes too! I'm sure there are more ideas like these - they're fun, big & definitely memorable!

#6 - Shaving Cream
You would be amazed by the fun you can have with shaving cream! We had a 'pie war' once where we filled up pie tins with shaving cream, put on garbage bags and went to town attacking each other with them - we ate actual pie after, of course! (There was a purpose to us doing this, we had to earn the pies through personal progress) We've also played shaving cream Twister where we put shaving cream on each circle. Another way to play this would be to dye the shaving cream to match the color of dot it's on, or to play it with paint - that's how I would LOVE to do it, so if you do be sure to invite me (; Be willing to be a little out there & you can come up with fun and easy activities!

#7 - Baking
So simple. (What can I say, I like the basics!) Just get together & bake something! It applies to Knowledge because you're learning how to make it, or you can apply it to Good Works #2 (helping your family with meals for two weeks) & make a freezer meal or two. The Mia Maids in my ward will be making enchiladas in a month or two to fill that exact requirement! Another idea is to bake bread & donate it for sacrament meeting - just be sure to let the Young Men know that that's what you're doing! (;

#8 - Missionaries
Use a mutual activity to remember your ward's missionaries! Make them care packages, write them letters, send them pictures - let them know you're thinking about them! If you have any recently returned missionaries, have them come speak, or do something with the missionaries currently serving in your ward! So many ideas & options.

There are really so many ideas for mutual activities. Do what fits your ward, keep the spirit & have fun!

-Savannah

Why I Go to Church

This is one of those posts that I don't really want to write, but I feel like it's important to put out there.  I've had this prompting to write it for quite a while, but I've been ignoring it! Clearly that's over and here I am!

Something I've been asking myself a lot lately is, "Why do I go to church?". I've been at this crossroad so many times already in my life, and I'm only 15! I don't think this is at all because the church isn't true. I think it's because the Lord needs youth who are so much stronger, so much sooner - and we become stronger through our trials. I know we do.

The past couple of Sunday mornings have kind of set me on edge. Let me explain this though! There are a few reasons that add up to this... 1) One of my callings in my ward is ward organist. I don't really like being the ward organist. Okay, let's be honest - I kind of hate it! It scares the heck out of me. Playing in front of a whole congregation of people on an instrument I'm not super comfortable with - though it is a lot like a piano, which is what I play - is so hard for me! I've had the calling for almost a year and it's still not something I feel great about. It doesn't help that both of my older brothers have been ward organists before/with me, and they have so much more experience than I do. I feel like I can't live up to that! Which is exactly why this calling is probably so great for me - I think it might just be helping me knock down my pride a little(; I think in the long run I'll be grateful for it, but there are definitely Sunday's where I have minor panic attacks over it. Playing the organ is not a big deal, but to me it kinda is!

Another thing I struggle with is young women's. I love my leaders! Every Sunday, they teach a lesson that is exactly on point with what I need. They're seriously so kind and great to work with, and I have loved being a Mia Maid. What I do struggle with is the other young women. The past couple of years I've felt really secure in my place in our young women's class. I had my two best friends who I've loved since 4th grade, and I stuck with them. Halfway through this year, we had a new young woman move into our ward. At first, nothing really changed. Then one of my friends started inviting her to parties, and everything else with her friends. I thought it was all good, because they were both in the grade above me and it made sense that they would be together. Then, at girls camp, I found myself seriously alone. The two of them went off alone in the tents, talking about their friends from school and the boys they liked. (Which was really annoying by the way) They didn't sit by me at meals or firesides. They didn't just ignore me and my other friend, though - they were unkind about it, too. It was so hard. Within a week, it felt like I had lost one of my best friends - mostly because I had! The Sunday after girls camp, I found myself sitting in the row behind them. I've always been one of those slightly annoying girls who sits in the front row, and for the first time in young women's, I was in the middle. It's so dumb, but it really hurt. We stopped talking to each other, sitting by each other - I felt replaced. I was pretty determined after that first Sunday that I wasn't going to come to young women's anymore. No big deal, right? Sacrament meeting was all I needed to be there for!

Here's the longgg story short - I kept going to young women's. And Sunday School. And sacrament meeting. And no, I was not released from playing the organ. I still sit in front of the congregation and play every other week, and I still sit in the second row in young women's. But why? Why would I do that when, let's be honest, it would probably be so much easier to ask to be released from the organ and just not show up to church?

That's something I've been asking myself, too. It's something I had to ask myself that first Sunday, and pretty much every one after that. And I think I might have something resembling an answer.

I go to church because I know what it's like to not go. Last year, when I was so sick, I didn't go to church for almost 4 months. I didn't take the sacrament or participate in a young women's lesson for 16 Sunday's in a row. Do you even know how long that is?? And I felt it. Not taking the sacrament for that long changed my whole perspective on it. We need it, and we need to be there for it. And we need to be there for the talks and lessons, too. No matter how much you learn about the gospel, it will never be all there is to learn about it! There are so many precious truths & incredible testimonies and experiences you're missing out on when you're not at church.

So I guess the main reason I go is because I need it. As much as my pride wants to say that I don't, I do. I need my Savior and I need the gospel, and I can't make it without either. Friendships and feeling like you 'belong' or have a social place in young women's are all good things, but that's not why we're there. And it's not something that should determine whether you go to church or not. I've been learning that the hard way - some Sunday's I just don't really want to deal with anything, and I still leave after sacrament meeting. Which isn't GOOD but it's something I'm working on overcoming! You may not fit in with your Young Women's group but you are never alone when you rely on God. Don't go because you want to be accepted by others, go because it's what will make your life better. Going to church can be hard, but life is so much harder - especially without it!

-Savannah 

Dear Seminary Teachers

Today's post is mostly directed towards seminary teachers & seminary students - here's a few of my thoughts that I've had as I've gone back to seminary these last 2 weeks! (It's my 2nd year)

I honestly kind of struggle in seminary. I couldn't really tell you exactly why - I love the gospel! I love learning more and more about the teachings of the prophets, especially in such a different way with a whole variety of people. This year is especially great because it's my first year at the high school, so I'm combined with sophomores, juniors & seniors. It's really a great and powerful way to learn. I live in Utah so seminary is one of my classes during school, which is perfect. It's a break from the chaos and all of the 'fun' stuff, and I definitely need it!

And yet... I'm that kid who sits on the opposite side of the room from the teacher's desk. I generally use my phone for my scriptures, and I find myself wandering - a lot! When someone texts you or you get a notification from Instagram, it's so hard to not switch right over to that. And as much as I don't want to admit it, a lot of times I don't think twice about scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed instead of listening to class.

I also play piano & accompany my ward on the organ in sacrament meeting, so I definitely know how to play hymns. Anyone who's been in a seminary class knows one of the first things seminary teachers ask you is whether or not you are willing to play hymns on the piano. I'll be the first to admit that I'm kind of a punk about this! If you ask me personally and call me out on it, I'll tell you I play piano and I'll play in seminary... but there's a good chance I'm not going to volunteer that information! It's so terrible, honestly I feel a little like I'm just over here confessing my sins, haha! But let's keep going because there is a point to me saying this.

So, I'm a stinker in seminary. I don't really like raising my hand or sharing opinions, I'm not a fan of playing piano in there, and I really like Instagram. I'm your stereotypical difficult teenager.

But WHY? Why is my attitude towards seminary not so great? I wish I could blame it on my teacher, but unfortunately, he's one of the coolest teachers I've had in general and his lessons are always great - so there's no blame to be had there! I can't throw it at the kids in my class either, because I managed to end up with a couple of my friends and everyone else in my class is so sweet. So I guess I'm striking out on blaming other people here (shocker!).

It really comes down to me and my attitude. For some bizarre reason I'm cranky about seminary and I honestly can't pinpoint an exact reason. But the minute I walk in that classroom, I shut off. Maybe Satan knows that seminary's a really great thing and he's doing his best to stop me from that - I really don't know! Either way, I fall into it way too easily. But I get to choose whether I do or not.

Last week, my seminary teacher gave a lesson that was so spot on with something I was struggling with, that I couldn't help but put down my phone and my bad attitude and listen. It was such a good lesson, and it almost felt like it was pointed directly towards me. So, I decided that I really needed to get over myself and put a little more effort into seminary. The next day, I gave my phone to my friend who was sitting in front of me, and I brought my actual set of scriptures. AND I raised my hand and volunteered to play piano. I got so much more out of the class and I felt so much happier. I still had my moments, but it was a much better experience when I put the same effort into it that my teacher did.

So, here's what I'd want to say to seminary teachers - keep going. Those obnoxious teenagers who are sitting in the back of your classroom, playing on their phones, are listening - at least somewhat. And one day you might just have a message for them that they really, really need to hear. Chances are they don't actually hate you, or what you're saying - they just have their own challenges and struggles, and sometimes actively listening is just a little too hard. Trust me, I've basically been that person, and my seminary teacher has already made a difference for me.

And here's a word of advice to seminary students - please put your phones away. If you need them for your scriptures, don't get off of the gospel library app. But if there's any chance of you bringing actual, physical scriptures, do it - it will make so much of a difference! Do what you need to do to get off your phone and get into class. And be HAPPY about it! Attitude is everything, and seminary really is something to be positive about! I PROMISE.

Here's to another week!
-Savannah