Monday, August 31, 2015
CHOOSING CHRIST
Saturday, August 29, 2015
Learned More Than Lost
"I have learned a lot more than I have lost." -Rachel Stratton
^^I don't know if you guys have heard of Rachel, but if you haven't - read her blog HERE. She was 20 years old & passed away last Sunday after fighting with brain cancer for 3 years. I didn't hear of her story until the day she passed, which is impressive considering her family lives only a little ways from mine. This week I've been reading through her blog. I'm only a year into it but I am so impressed with her spirit. I never had the opportunity to meet her, but through her writing you can feel her courage & strength & faith in and love for Christ. I have never been so impressed with someone.
It's made me think a lot about some of the things I've gone through. I won't pretend they're anywhere near fighting brain cancer - because they're not. And I'm not saying 'poor me' because of them. So many people have it so much worse than I ever have, but it doesn't change the fact that we're all struggling. We're all being tested in our own ways, & none of them are easy.
A year and a half ago, I had my gallbladder removed 3 days after my 14th birthday. I dropped out of 8th grade & had to homeschool for the rest of the year. Without going into a crazy number of medical details, basically I've struggled - badly - with my health since I was 11. I actually had my gallbladder & appendix removed in the same surgery just to make sure I wouldn't have anything else to come in for! For so many different reasons, I've had a ridiculous # of tests done - like a colonoscopy in 7th grade, HIDA scan in 8th, ultrasounds, x-rays, an insane # of blood tests - you name it! I also found out last December that I have a degenerative neurological muscular disorder called Charcot Marie-Tooth (try saying that 10 time fast!). My dad & my grandpa both have it, along with a couple of my aunts & uncles, & it's hereditary - so we always kind of figured I had it. But I had an intense spike in leg pain last year, so I started going to doctor's for it. The first one wasn't a "kid" specialist, he was just a general leg/feet doctor. Basically he told me that within a few years, I wouldn't be able to walk. I needed surgery to lengthen my calf & would eventually need to lengthen my Achilles, which is an even riskier procedure. I had the potential of my arch collapsing, hammer toes, curled fingers - you name it. He told me I had the joints of a 70 year old & it would only get worse, and that no matter what we did, the end result would be a wheelchair.
Needless to say, I was pretty devestated after that first appointment. We were going to set me up for surgery but decided not to because I had just made the school play. We ended up meeting with a specialist at primary children's, and his answer was completely different - don't have surgery yet. Wait & see. He said my legs are messed up but they're nowhere near as bad as we thought. He recommended physical therapy & if all else fails, surgery. Mostly because you don't want to have scar tissue in your legs ever - especially when you're younger!
And so the first couple of months of 2015 (a.k.a. this year) were way hard. I was struggling with pain a good amount of the time, and my stomach health was still not 100%. I also wasn't eating gluten (oh, the stories. I was more of a mess than I thought) which was SO hard. I started therapy, but I also had 2 hour play practices after school everyday. I'd go to school for 7 hours, play practice for 2, & therapy for another 2 or 3 hours. I'd come home and fall asleep as soon as I sat down, so I'd end up doing homework in the middle of the night or during school. Me and my counselor became good friends, haha! I was a counselor aide first tri, so I called people to the counseling office & helped them file and sort different things. She helped me switch out of PE 2nd tri when I was struggling with my legs. I talked to her a couple of times about switching to half days of school. I was the kid who got pulled out of class by their counselor just so they could check up on how I was doing! At the end of the year, I received my grades in the mail. Somehow I managed to keep a 4.0 all year, even with an insane amount of absences & not being able to focus on what I was doing while I was there. The only way that happened was through a lot of prayer and a lot of faith that God would help me through it. On my own, I couldn't have kept up my grades. With God, I did. My counselor wrote on my grades how proud she was that I got my 4.0, which is something I still carry in the back of my mind. I didn't get a 4.0 because I'm the most brilliant student out there, I got it because I worked hard & God helped me out - a lot.
Even today, almost a year after the CMT stuff started, I take pain cream with me everytime I travel. I can't run a mile without having the craziest leg spasms and pain for days after. My calves are ridiculously buff (and guys, I am nowhere near a 'buff' person), & I have a pair of giant leg braces that I'm supposed to wear everyday, but I don't because they're annoying. Maybe it will come to a point where I have to, but being the stubborn & probably irresponsible teenager I am, I'll avoid it as long as I can. I can't do the hikes at girls camp & I have to take all the physical education classes online. I'm not in physical therapy right now, but I'm careful.
In case you made it through that ridiculous amount of medical information that I said I wouldn't put in there but clearly did anyways (sometimes it's a little unavoidable), here's my point - I've learned more than I've lost. It really hit me when I read that on Rachel's blog.
My family has struggled - my health has struggled - my friendships have struggled - & my faith has struggled. I've lost plenty. I've lost friends, family members, time & experiences I could've had. At times I've lost hope, faith, and even purpose. There have been points where I haven't been able to live a normal life, and even now it's a little bit different. I've even literally had blood and organs taken from me.
BUT, more than any of that, I've learned so much. I've learned that if you trust in God & lean on Him in every circumstance, He will provide & carry you through. I've learned that struggles are nothing to be ashamed of - I'm still learning that one! I didn't tell anyone when I was going through therapy or surgery, and the majority of people still don't know exactly what went down. I've always hated talking about any of it. Finally, I got over that - in a theater class with a group of kids that were all a year younger than me. I went up there & rambled for a solid 10 minutes about it (yes I was actually supposed to do that, don't worry, I'm not that weird) & it helped me realize that maybe I'm not my challenges - but at the same time, I am. Who I am today has been defined by my trials and struggles, and I'm honestly so proud to say that. There have been moments in the past couple of years where I couldn't see the point, and while I still don't understand it all, I know that through my trials God has made me so much better - so much stronger, and kinder, and more understanding. I'm less afraid and a little more hopeful. And I owe it to my trials and to God.
So, if you're struggling, here's my advice - have faith. Stay hopeful. Pray, all the time, and don't forget about your scriptures. Sometimes it may not seem like it, but God is good. And there will always be a reason for everything, even if you can't see it. Remember you are loved & remember there is always, always hope. And I know that if you trust in God, you will be able to come out of anything.
Because haven't we all truly learned more than we have lost?
-Savannah
Friday, August 21, 2015
Why Should I Care?
"Why should I care?" It's something we've all thought about one thing or another - I personally think it several times a day at school! And while maybe that's an understandable thought when you're learning about random equations you will honestly never use in your life, I really hope that's not your attitude about personal progress!! And if it is, I'm here to change it.
So why should you care? Not to be a broken record, but essentially all of the reasons I talked about in my PP month intro post!
Rather than go through all of the MANY reasons you should love personal progress, I just wanted to post and share my testimony of this incredible program with you - because it is truly wonderful!!
Personal progress has changed SO much of my view on the future, the gospel, and the people around me. For me personally, I did most of my personal progress during one of the hardest times in my life. I was struggling with health, happiness, & motivation. Rather than turn away from the gospel, I chose to put everything into it. It gave me the motivation to keep going. I credit a lot of where I am today to personal progress and this wonderfully true gospel! Maybe it won't impact you the way it did me (I hope not in the exact same way, at least - health challenges are the worst!!) but I know it will help you get through so much. It will make you a better person and help you everyday. I don't doubt it because I've seen it in action!!
So just give it a shot. Try it! It definitely won't hurt and I promise it will help!!
-Savannah
Monday, August 17, 2015
Be a Duck
Okay, not literally - although ducks are pretty dang adorable, but I'm not really sure that's possible. This is something my mom has told me since I was in preschool - "Be a duck!"
Ducks have waterproof feathers. Water basically rolls right off their back! And so, in this way we should be like them - not with water, but with the hard things that come our way. Especially as we are all heading back to school where we're too often faced with hard people & opposition. Some people are going to be just flat out unkind, no matter who you are or what you do. Classes might be hard, your group of friends might change - let it go!! Let it roll right off your back and not be a worry. Don't be easily offended. Remember you are a child of God and what anyone else has to say is honestly not even relevant. Trust in God & let it gooooooo!
Do your best, but accept anything & everything that comes your way. Your 4.0 slipped to a 3.97? It's okay!! (I promise) Someone made a snippy comment in the hall? Don't even worry about it. Be a duck this year & everything will work out just fine ♡
-Savannah
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
A B O U T M E
Well hey there everyone!! Today's post is a little less serious... I was looking through my blog & I realized that I never actually introduced myself! I introduced my blog name & the reason behind it (read that HERE) but I never actually told you about myself. For all we know, I could be a creepy old man hiding behind the screen. Thank goodness I'm NOT, haha! So I figured it was about time I tell you a little bit about myself!
I'm Savannah, a.k.a Savvy/Vans/Nana + a thousand more depending on who you ask! I'm 15 years old (16 on Feb. 10th, yesss!!) and I live in a small town in northern Utah.
I have 4 brothers - 2 older & 2 younger. Basically I'll give you a little bit about each member of my family!
Dad - My dad is the bishop of our ward - he's also a serious travel pro because he travels for work at least 2 weeks out of every month. He's constantly busy, selfless, and the hardest worker I know. He's also a serious football fan & the best padre around!
Mom - FULL TIME SCHOOL. PART TIME WORK. FULL TIME EXTRAORDINARY MOM. ( I felt that deserved all caps because she's legit a superhero) My best friend & the most hilarious & headstrong person you'll ever meet - besides me, of course (;
Spencer's 20 & he's attending U of U. When I think of Spencer I think of MUSIC - he & Brooks started a band together in high school that won a Battle of the Bands & played at a bunch of cool places in Ogden & SLC. He's also very into politics. He's an inactive member of the church - he left the church pretty much during/after high school. But if there's one thing I've learned, it's that you never stop praying & trusting in God. He has a plan for each and every one of us!
Brooks is 18 & graduated from high school this year. He's hopefully a soon to be missionary - we're hoping to receive his call this Friday or next Friday! He's the sweetest kid & without a doubt the peacemaker in our home. Brooks is also insanely musically talented & when he finishes his mission he'll be going to USU to become a music therapist!
Lucas is 13 & in 8th grade. He's a CRAZY kid & rebellious as much as he can be, but he's got a good heart and I've learned more from him than anyone else. He loves sports, especially football and soccer. And joggers - the kid loves his joggers!
Eli is 9 & in 4th grade. Funniest kid you will ever meet. Seriously intelligent & obsessed with Harry Potter & animals. He's so kind hearted and just a little bit awkward (;
And of course our family wouldn't be complete without our 3 cats (we did NOT intend to have that many!!), Crookshanks, Legolas & Katniss, & our dog, Toby. They're all named after books/movies - Crookshanks is Hermione's cat in Harry Potter, Legolas from Lord of the Rings, and Katniss from The Hunger Games. Toby isn't technically from a movie, but if you ask me it's short for Tobias from Divergent (;
On my side of things, I love theater & music & piano & performing! All good things. I've been in 2 plays - The King & I and Bye Bye Birdie - and I'm currently in Footloose. I love it! I've also worked at a snowcone stand all summer, which is great because I get free snowcones but it's not so great because I get paid close to nothing! But I'm 15 with a job so I shouldn't complain(;
I'm also slightly movie & Netflix obsessed. If I had to choose my favorites the list would include lots of musicals - like Les Mis & Hairspray, Marvel movies (Captain America is #1), Tim Burton movies & a whole ton of random ones like Jurassic World, Penelope & Cokeville Miracle. Honestly I love them all! As for TV shows I can't choose there either! My tops would definitely have to include Gilmore Girls, Glee & anything on HGTV. I'm just a big fan of it all!
I love music from pretty much all categories, except for most rap & country (sorry, but what can I say?). I also love random things like fall, Tillamook ice cream, Dr. Pepper & writing. Basically just the good things! (;
Hope you enjoyed getting to know me a little bit better because I enjoyed writing it! (;
Until next time...
-Savannah